Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married for years. One minute she’s perfectly fine, the next, she’s crying like a baby. She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied. After several years of marriage, we should learn not worry so much about what the wife says. Instead, we should worry about what she wants. We have gathered some the points a wife expects in her life from a husband. Following are these important points:-
She Wants love
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love. And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect. And the vicious cycle repeats itself. Stop this and show love to your wife. That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks. And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.
She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true. Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” – Sahih Bukhari.
So, yes women should be careful about denegrating the things your husband does for you. But very often, you brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue. Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks for things in your character to get even. Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and she has to work to take up some slack. Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy. Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain and nag.
Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, its taken for granted. Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals. But she does. And she does that on top of all the other things in her life. Caring for the kids, Working or going to school, Striving to be a better wife. Show your wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family. A simple “thank you” is a good start.
She Wants You to be Her leader
We can’t stress enough the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families. And that’s the problem with a lot of men these days. Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives). Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade yourself. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.
She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t care for polygamy. Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife. Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman. Don’t compare her to some female movie star. Don’t compare her to your mother. Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!). She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way. Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife.
It’s the same thing every day. Week in and week out. Not only is she bored but she’s also tired. She has to take care of the kids and run the household and then pamper you. Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how an average housewife must feel. And let’s not forget about working woman. Many women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down. So make your wife feel special. Give her a break. Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home. Just do something every now and then to break the monotony.
More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna be fun. They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe you’re gonna give it to them. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family. The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her. Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage. Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage. See? That isn’t all that hard, now is it?